Report to Baby Central

MEMO

TO: Baby Central
FROM: Baby #11122007 (aka Gwendolyn Sarah Ronaghan)
RE: Two-week check-in

Per the terms of our agreement, I am providing a report on the parental units I selected. In order to keep it brief, I will summarize my observations in two categories: Pros and Cons.

Pros

• the one with the endless supply of milk (delicious!) has v. good soft, pillowy sleeping area near source of milk. Excellent for sleeping upon.
  
• the one with the prickly face has good vocal tone, especially useful during FP (Fussy Period -- delivered per all requirements of courses FP101 and 201).
• two successful excursions to a place known as "outside." Fresh air very welcome, though caused extreme drowsiness.
• high level of tolerance for spitting up, fussing and crying.
• parental units very engaged in all my activities, esp. smiling and laughing I do while asleep.
  

Cons

• photographed me in ridiculous "Christmas" outfit. V. embarrassing if photos get disseminated to other Baby Central graduates.
• keep awakening me to feed me the delicious milk; causing me both sleep deprivation and weight gain. Parentals appear extremely pleased with (and significantly fixated upon) weight gain.
  
• the one with the prickly face forgets to turn off flash on camera, startling me when I am sleeping.
• cloth used to swaddle my bottom half ("diaper") continually becoming wet; parentals change same relatively promptly, however (pro).

Summary: Overall rating acceptable. Further report to be provided at 4 weeks.