Urgent Report to Baby Central

EMERGENCY MEMORANDUM

TO: Baby Central
FROM: Gwendolyn Ronaghan
RE: Menu Amendment

Life to date with "Mama" and "Daddy" has been enjoyable for the most part. Parental Units did commit a few of the gaffes mentioned in the elective seminar Your New Parents 101: They Have No Clue. These faux pas were innocent (I was unable to find evidence to the contrary), and swiftly dealt with -- the introduction of a stuffed snake to cushion my unexpected sideways falls when sitting up was most helpful, for example. See photo.

A more serious misstep occurred this past week, and it is this misstep that has spurred this unusual report. In summary: Parental Units responded to my cues of reaching for food and drink, and close monitoring of all food ingestion by family members. Response deemed inadequate and inappropriate insofar as foods introduced were pureed bananas and (brown!) rice cereal -- not at all resembling those items consumed by Parentals.

Same were delicious nonetheless and the writer consumed all amounts offered, noting delivery speed was often sub-optimal. Unfortunately, Parentals failed to include a food with laxative properties at the outset thereby inducing a bout of embarrassing and painful digestive slowdown (aka "being bunged up").

The writer finally introduced tears into the situation and we are satisfied with the speed of response. Prunes were administered (less delicious than bananas, we note) and slowdown has been resolved. It is our understanding that Mama and Daddy plan to introduce no further "solids" for a period of time while digestive functions return to normal. We concur.